Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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