Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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