Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
