Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
