Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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