I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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