Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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