Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
