It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
