SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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