I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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