i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
