My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
