a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
