how can u be prego again
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize