Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
