he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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