porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
