Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
