first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
