I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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