i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
