I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I love you. Go after that dick
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
