R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
