i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize