Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
