Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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