So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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