did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
