I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
