I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
