You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
