He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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