everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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