i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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