doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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