I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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