spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize