fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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