...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
