Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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