Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
