I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
