I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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