Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
