Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
