So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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