So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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