She said her name was "party"
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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