Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
