you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
