Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
