i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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