why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
