for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize