I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
