The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
