I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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