it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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