I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
