I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
