Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
