woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
