whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hope mine doesn't look like that
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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