So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
