Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It's just like the Real World with babies
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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