Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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