Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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