i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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