i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
