East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
