Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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